Bullshit Protects

The Bird

The latest project thrusted upon Jacques is elating and terrifying at the same time. It’s his chance to shine, and perhaps get the promotion that he has been dreaming for. For years he has stagnated as an executive at the middle management at the bank, losing any hope for ever breaking through the glass ceiling now clearly visible to him.

The timing of this project has also not been favourable to him. Marital problems with Sarah, his wife, low libido, frustrating monotony, meaningless life, lack of adventure, among a long list of first world problems.

His trade as a project manager still interests him and he remains passionate about his work, but his boss, Olivier, is an asshole, old, with hair sprouting out of his nostrils and ears like unhedged bushes.

The Bull

Olivier is a demanding boss who is always putting Jacques down and making him feel inadequate. Never the one to give any clear instructions, and always opaque, Jacques often feels like having a nervous breakdown.

Despite this, Jacques felt that this project could be a career defining opportunity.

The high-stakes project, involving managing a team of developers to build a cutting-edge software platform for the bank, is critical to the bank's success, and if Jacques can deliver on time and on budget, he will be in line for a big promotion.

The Bullshit

However, he has received no extra resources, and been given a kind of carte blanche by Olivier. He felt Olivier was doing this purposefully for him to fail. Where is he going to organize all the resources to pull this off?

Olivier, it seems, had dumped a load of bullshit on him, simply passing this huge problem on to him while himself walking away from it, or simply sitting on the side lines.

Frustrated, yet excited, he didn’t know where to start. There was news all around though that Jacques had been put in charge of this strategic project, that would ultimately define the future of the bank.

Feeling warm and fuzzy with the recognition he was receiving, he began talking to people about the importance of the project, the stakes involved and how much he had to shoulder.

He was all over the bank, talking to anyone and everyone who lent a ear. He still had to get down to work, mobilize resources, yet he spent a lot of time drawing attention and recognition even though the work hadn’t even officially started.

The Cat

In comparison, Jacques colleague, Ashely, had been assigned a project to oversee the bank’s HR & admin systems. A tall and blonde French woman, she was an attractive 30 year old, who had only recently joined the team. Jacques got along extremely well with her, leaning on her to vent out steam about Olivier.

She was so nice, gentle, Jacques thought, always accessible to him. Jacques could never understand why colleagues and people at the bank were always wary of her, voicing about her cut-throat ambition and ruthlessness. He had never noticed anything but friendliness and empathy.

Bird Song

Jacques began to spend more of the working day with Ashely, who was the only one who really understood the opacity of the project.

His boss, the asshole Olivier only ridiculed him, and just gave curt directions of simply putting a steering team together from different areas of the bank to lead the effort in mobilising resources and a project plan.

Rubbish, thought Jacques, to just go and organise a steering committee from different departments.  What help would that give. He would have lead everybody, including coordinating etc.

Digging Through The Shit

Ashely was so right, Jacques thought. She told him not to put up with this, and simply give up on the project. Better, she told Jacques that it with such a wide scope and unclear instructions, he should confide in Olivier’s boss. She was so right.

A while month had lapsed, and there was no steering committee, neither Jacques had any plan, and Olivier was furious. He had ordered Jacques to organize a meeting of five of the department heads and “instructed” him to deliver the project scope by end of the week.

“What bullshit…” thought Jacques ruefully, “why couldn’t he just set a clear scope and deliverables for the entire project, so that he could execute it efficiently, the way his competency would be applied best.”

Lost and a week to go, he was at his wit’s end, and decided to look for the Invisible Man.

The Invisible Man

Jacques walked into the cigar lounge typically frequented by the Invisible Man, and the pungent smell of tobacco hit him. He loved the smell of the cigars, the earthy aroma, and the way it filled his senses.

The walls were lined with a variety of cigars from different regions and brands. It was a small space, but cosy, with plush sofas and dim lighting.

Jacques made his way to his usual spot, where he could see the entire room, but not be in the way of the other patrons. Scanning the room for the familiar figure of the Invisible Man, he finally spotted him.  

He had been searching for him for days, eager to share his work situation and seek his guidance. As he approached, the Invisible Man looked up and gave him a small, all-knowing smile.

"Jacques, what problem brings you here today," the Invisible Man said, his deep voice resonating through the quiet room. He motioned a silent Jacques to sit.

Jacques sat down in the leather armchair opposite the Invisible Man, his hands shaking slightly with anticipation. He took a deep breath and launched into his story, explaining the high stakes project he had been given at work and the asshole Olivier, his boss and the only  colleague at the bank who really understood his problem, Ashley.

 The Invisible Man listened intently, his piercing gaze fixed on Jacques, and a mischievous smile emerged on his face.

Jacques stopped rambling and looked quizzically at the Invisible Man asking “what’s so funny??”, his expression now quite flustered. “It’s a real life and death matter, you know, for my career. Have some empathy once in a while, like Ashely.” He exclaimed.

The Invisible Man said with a chuckle. “So we have our bird, a bull, some bullshit, a cat, bird song, and a cat digging through the shit”.

The Little Bird in the Cow Dung

As the smoke from their cigars curled lazily upwards, the Invisible Man leaned forward and began to speak in his deep, measured voice.

"Let me tell you a story, Jacques," he said, his words laced with mystery and intrigue. "A story of a little bird that found itself in the grip of the bitter winter, struggling to survive against all odds."

Jacques leaned forward, eager to hear more. The ambiance of the cigar lounge seemed to fade away as the Invisible Man's story began to unfold.

"The little bird was no bigger than a thumb, with feathers as black as night and eyes as bright as stars. Its wings flapped weakly, and its tiny frame trembled with the cold. The bird had been flying for days without rest, its energy waning with every passing moment."

Jacques could almost feel the agony of the little bird as it struggled to keep itself aloft. The Invisible Man's words painted a vivid picture of the bird's flight, as it soared over snow-capped mountains and frozen rivers, its wings growing weaker and weaker with every passing moment.

"As the little bird flew over a vast field, it could no longer withstand the biting cold. Its wings could no longer keep it aloft, and it plummeted down to the ground. The little bird lay there, frozen, its feathers stiff, and its eyes closed."

Jacques held his breath as the Invisible Man paused for a moment, allowing the tension to build. He could sense that there was much more to the story than met the eye.

"But then, something strange began to happen," the Invisible Man continued. "The little bird began to feel a warmth spreading through its tiny body, thawing it out and allowing it to move its wings and feet once more. It opened its eyes to see that it was lying in a large pile of cow dung."

Jacques couldn't help but feel a sense of revulsion at the thought of the little bird lying in a pile of dung, but he knew that there was much more to the story than that. At the same time, Jacques for the first time began to feel like the that bird...

"At first, the little bird was disgusted by the cow dung, but it soon realized that the warmth it was feeling was coming from the manure. It began to sing a joyous song of thanks, its little voice filling the air and its spirits lifting as the warmth spread through its tiny body."

Jacques could almost hear the little bird's song as it filled the air, its tiny voice filled with gratitude and joy. He could feel the sense of relief and salvation that the bird must have felt in that moment.

"However, the little bird was not alone in the field," the Invisible Man went on. "A sly cat had been prowling the area, and it heard the bird's joyful song. Intrigued, it followed the sound until it found the little bird lying in the pile of cow dung."

Jacques held his breath as the Invisible Man's words took on a darker tone. He could sense that something terrible was about to happen.

"Without a moment's hesitation, the cat dug through the manure, snatched the little bird up in its sharp claws, and gobbled it down in a single bite."

A sense of self-pity began to wash over him, as a painful realisation began to permeate through him. Was that asshole Olivier the cow, his tough, demanding guidance a possible reference to the warmth of the manure that thawed out the little bird.

Meanwhile, Ashley's empty words of comfort and sympathy began to seem like the cat's cruel and predatory reflex, ready to pounce on the little bird at any moment.

But how could that be? Jacques thought, while slumping back into the sofa, his cigar hanging loosely in between his fingers, ashes fluttering down, towards the floor.

As the Invisible Man reached the conclusion of the fable, he paused for a moment before continuing. " Jacques," he said, his voice stern, cruel and pitiless, "Do you know what the four invaluable lessons this timeless fable teaches us? And ofcourse they come with a twist, because the original only had three"

Jacques was still feeling repulsed that all this had to do something of his own stupidity. And then the gruesome manner in which the Invisible Man narrated the ordeal of the little bird being consumed by the cat. Yet, he knew that there was much more to the story than just the tragic end.

All those who shit on you are not your enemies

The Invisible Man takes a puff from his cigar and looks at Jacques. "You see, Jacques, the little bird in the fable was also abhorred by the cow and its dung, until it began to see it as a source of warmth and protection from the wind."

Jacques looks at the Invisible Man, trying to grasp the meaning of the fable. "But how does that relate to my situation at work?" he asks.

The Invisible Man leans forward and says in a low voice, "Your boss, Olivier, may seem tough and hard on you, but he may just be trying to push you to your limits. He may be trying to bring out the best in you."

Jacques nods thoughtfully. "I see what you mean. But how do I know when he's being tough for my own good, and when he's just being an asshole?"

The Invisible Man smiles wryly. "That's the million-dollar question, isn't it? You have to learn to read people's intentions, Jacques.

Sometimes people are tough because they care, and sometimes they're tough because they're just assholes. But if you assume the worst in people, you'll never learn anything from them."

Taking a pause, the Invisible Man said, “Olivier handed you the biggest project in the bank’s history, on which the future of the bank depends. He offered you absolute autonomy to lead in any direction you want”, continued the Invisible Man.

Jacques takes a deep breath, contemplating the Invisible Man's words. "But that’s not what he said," he says slowly.

“And, its important he has to say it?” chuckled the Invisible Man.

The Invisible Man nods and recounts. "In the 1800s, there was a man named Andrew Carnegie. He was a Scottish immigrant who came to America and built a massive steel empire.

He was known for being a tough boss who demanded a lot from his employees. But he also believed in treating his workers well and providing them with opportunities for advancement.

One day, a young man named Charles Schwab came to work for Carnegie. Schwab was ambitious and hardworking, but he struggled to keep up with Carnegie's demands.

Carnegie recognized Schwab's potential and gave him a promotion, even though Schwab wasn't quite ready for the job. But Carnegie knew that Schwab would rise to the challenge, and he did. Schwab went on to become one of Carnegie's most trusted advisors and a successful businessman in his own right."

Jacques listens intently to the story, absorbing the message. "So, you're saying that Olivier handed me such large scale project with such opaque instructions and resources on purpose?"

The Invisible Man nodded with a smile. "Exactly. Don't assume the worst in people, Jacques.

He added, “What does it really look like? He literally gave you a blank check on the project to build it up ground up, mobilise the teams, hire people, put the various department heads together to steer. Are you dumb, or are you blind?”.

The Invisible Man took a long draw at his cigar, and indulged in it extravagantly, while Jacques sat in silence like a guilty school boy sitting in front of a headmaster. He had missed this part…

One Who Digs You Out Of Shit, Is Not Always Your Friend

The Invisible Man leaned back in his chair, puffing on his cigar with a contemplative look on his face. Jacques sat across from him, the flickering light from the cigar casting shadows across his face as he listened intently.

“Not everyone that digs you out of shit is your friend,” the Invisible Man said, breaking the silence.

Jacques nodded slowly, mulling over the words. He had always assumed that anyone who helped him was a friend, but as he thought about it more, he realized that wasn't always the case.

The Invisible Man continued, “There are those who will help you just for the sake of feeling superior, or to manipulate you for their own gain. It's important to be cautious and not let your guard down too easily.”

Jacques couldn't help but think of Ashley, who always offered warm words of consolation but never actually followed through with any action. He wondered if she was just trying to make herself feel better by offering empty promises.

In fact, the more he thought the more the fog began to lify from over his eyes. She had always been encouraging him to quit the project, and worse, escalate the feedback to Olivier’s boss.

Could it possibly be that, or was he now imagining all this. Ashely was just so sincere, he thought, trying to navigate the conflict within.

Maybe the Invisible Man is absolutely wrong, thought Jacques, and it is even possible that he, the Invisible Man himself is trying to manipulate him.

The Invisible Man noticed Jacques' expression and smiled before speaking.

"During the Trojan War, the Greeks were fighting the Trojans. The Trojans were in a strong position, and the Greeks couldn't breach their defences. So the Greeks came up with a plan. They built a giant wooden horse and left it outside the gates of Troy as a gift to the Trojans.

The Trojans, thinking it was a gift, pulled the horse inside their city walls. But little did they know, inside the horse were Greek soldiers waiting to attack. The Trojans had let their guard down, thinking they were safe."

Jacques listens intently to the story, all at the same time thinking of Ashley.

The Invisible Man continues, "Sometimes, people who seem like they're helping you are actually working against you. They're like the Greeks who used the Trojan horse to their advantage. They get close to you, they gain your trust, and then they strike. Not everyone that digs you out of shit is your friend."

The Invisible Man takes a long drag of his cigar and blows out the smoke. Jacques is deep in thought, trying to process what he just heard. The words of the Invisible Man were making him re-evaluate his relationship with Ashley.

When In Deep Shit, Shut Up

The Invisible Man took a long drag from his cigar, watching the smoke curl up into the air before he spoke. "Jacques," he said, "there are times when you may find yourself in deep shit, and the best thing you can do is to keep your mouth shut. Like the situation that you are in, where you have to deliver such a critical project."

Jacques raised an eyebrow, curious. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean that there are times when speaking up will only make things worse," the Invisible Man replied. "Sometimes, it's best to bide your time, to wait and watch, and to keep your thoughts to yourself until the right moment presents itself."

The Invisible Man continues, “You have gone around speaking to everyone and anyone about the project that has been tasked to you, without regard to their relevance or their intentions. You don’t think that there will be contenders vying for such a coveted project for their own resumes?”

Jacques thoughts again went to Ashley, and a flutter of light went in his head. The HR & Admin systems project she was assigned to, versus the banking platform that he had been tasked to develop.

The Invisible Man’s smooth voice carried. "Sometimes the best thing you can do is stay quiet, observe, and listen. When you're in trouble, it's easy to panic and say things that you'll regret later. But if you can keep your wits about you and keep your mouth shut, you may find a way out of your predicament that you hadn't considered before."

He continued, “Do you really think that it is wise to escalate a situation to Olivier’s boss as Ashley advises?”

Jacques looked at him solemnly, realising the parallels between him and the bird singing loudly in a pile of warm cow dung, only to attract the conniving cat.

“You need to focus on making the project happen, and do it while keeping your mouth shut,” laughed the Invisible Man mischievously at Jacques face.

Epilogue

The Invisible Man and Jacques sat in silence. The only sounds were of the faint whispers of cigar smoke swirling around the room, the soft creaking of leather chairs and the distant hum of the city outside.

Jacques is deep in thought, still trying to weave the lessons from the fable, and how they relate to his own situation. The Invisible Man watches him, his mysterious smile still etched on his face.

Finally, Jacques speaks up, breaking the silence. "I see now," he says, "I see that I've been looking at everything the wrong way. I've been so focused on the shit that Olivier is throwing at me, that I didn't see that it might actually be for my own good."

The Invisible Man nods, still watching Jacques intently. "Yes," he says, "sometimes we have to look past the surface, past the smell of the shit, and see the hidden lessons in the challenges we face."

Jacques leans back in his chair, lost in thought. He starts to connect the dots, how Ashely's seemingly kind words and empty promises may not be the help he needs, and how Olivier's gruff exterior may be masking a deeper desire to see him succeed.

The Invisible Man watches as the realization dawns on Jacques, and he sees the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. He knows that Jacques is on the path to finding the answers he seeks, but also knows that it will be a long and difficult journey.

The Invisible Man and Jacques finish their cigars and prepare to leave the lounge. As they part ways, Jacques knows that he has a lot of work ahead of him, but also feels a newfound sense of clarity and purpose.

The Invisible Man disappears into the shadows, leaving Jacques to ponder the mysteries of the fable and the lessons he has learned.

As he steps out into the bustling city, he can't help but feel a sense of excitement for what the future holds. The journey may be long and difficult, but he knows that he does not want to be the bird that is stuck in a pile of shit, rescued only be to be eaten alive.